sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
