are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
