Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
