bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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