check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize