"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Blood and glitter go together right?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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