pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
