the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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