You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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