why didn't you poke me back
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
