new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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