I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Randomize
