would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
