quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
