We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
