Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
