those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize