Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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