Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I could fuck to npr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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