i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
