all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
