wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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