I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
