i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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