Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
