I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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