So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
