Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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