Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
