We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize