I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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