it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
