You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
