Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
