Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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