Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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