so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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