Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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