Me. At least after what I've been through.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
