I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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