Your mouth is God's brothel.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
