i think i have herpe
just one?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
