We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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