would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
