DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
