Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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