I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
