No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
last night I used snow as a chaser
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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