is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
