No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
