her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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