In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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