Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
