ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the day after is always just damage control
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
