So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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