I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
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Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
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Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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