like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
