You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
