belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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