well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
