Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
