hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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