I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
