No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize